When my cyberpal Cairn Rodrigues asked me to write about pop
culture, it seemed like a good time to revive my street cred, which pretty much
died when Bill Haley and the Comets burst onto the scene in ’52. So I foolishly
agreed. Then today she’s like “Write
about Tara Reid’s nip slip.” And I’m like “Huh?” And then I go “Maybe it’s like
whosie’s wardrobe malfunction at the football thing.” So I check her out on the
Google and confirm my suspicions. After seeing her picture, I’m like Whoa. (Cairn had written “It’s a
chestnut,” probably not referring to the exposed protuberance.) Below is a
photo of Ms. Reid, edited for relevance:
 |
| Over 18? Click boob. Under 18? You've seen too much already. |
Of course I am too old to admit to a degree of titillation (My
70th birthday is in October—no presents over $10 $20, please)
at her pulchritude. Tara’s, not Cairn’s. Not that I—I don’t mean to say—you
know.
So. Tara Reid. I understand she stars in a summer blockbuster called Sharknado, in which a tornado lifts
thousands of sharks out of the ocean, while in defiance of the laws of physics it
apparently leaves smaller fish behind. The sharks attack Hollywood like it was
Pearl Harbor, except I’d think the sharks were the good guys. Anyway, some dude
sees he’s about to end up in a shark’s toothy maw, so he revs up his chain saw and
stands his ground.
The dialogue is quite compelling:
Guy #1: I hate sharks.
Guy #2: I hate sharks too.
Does cinema get any better than that? Well, perhaps in The Big Lebowski, in which Tara also has
a part. But does she expose herself there? I saw the movie but forget her. I
just remember guys bowling. How sad for me.
Cairn Rodrigues, who
put me up to this nonsense, is a nice person with a rich sense of humor. Since what I wrote really isn't her fault, please visit
her blog at http://thelightstealerssong.com.
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